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Calm Waters

June 13, 2014

vesi

Some days are just rainy.

I suppose,

loosing permanently something that is substantial, is not easy.

*

Some days come with a sharp insight,

penetrative awareness that I have gone through permanent, negative changes,

and those changes have damaged me, harmed me,

perhaps debilitated me for the rest of my life.

*

I look at my surgical wounds when I clean and grease them.

Over 40 cm wrinkled, bruised, dry skin,

today I find a hole between stitches and rests of the clotted blood.

I really don’t like to look that close to my injuries,

traces of the cancer.

I hideously dislike that word.

I hate the fact,

that you just have to cut out everything it touches, if you can.

I feel that I’m cut in pieces,

and I’m never going to be normal again.

I hope it’s not true.

That’s why I pray for health,

I try not to get buried under disappointments and losses,

and instead pray for joy and balance.

…Even though I see the permanent damages and feel them,

every day.

*

I felt that it was time to work with this painting for a while.

I feel a need for calm waters, calm and nourishing waters.

And I go back to some old words from David’s psalm:

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.

Psalm 23

*

In Revelation, it’s said

the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal.

I wonder how it would be to drink the water of life?

What if I ask the angels to give me a titbit of that feeling, the healing and nourishing effect of it?

*

Today’s pray is short, as my mind feels narrow:

Dear Lord,

give me strength,

strength to live inside this body,

ability to treat it with both caring and loving ways.

*

Give me always the right point of view,

to see,

how appropriately and beautifully You have created me.

Please, remind me,

every day,

that everything in my life has a purpose,

and show me the wisdom behind it,

and please,

show it so many times, that I understand.

*

Dear Lord,

let me feel Your power,

let Your grace surround me

with revitalizing warmness

and please,

heal all my wounds.

*

Amen

 

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Heather Kopp

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Steve's body of work spans conflicts, vanishing cultures, ancient traditions and contemporary culture alike - yet always retains the human element. www.stevemccurry.com

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