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Waiting Increases Pain

January 7, 2014

20032007460

Have mercy on me, Lord,

for I am faint; 

heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony.

Psalm 6:2

*

I have been in hospital,

I met my doctor,

but I didn’t get any answers!

*

Is it going to be chemotherapy,

radiation therapy,

hormone blockers … or what?

They still don’t know how bad my cancer is!

*

Waiting is killing me.

I can’t behave as an adult, a s a mother or a wife.

I’m not a good friend either.

I can’t communicate.

No social skills what ever – just pain.

*

It feels like:

I am the woman who has seen affliction by the rod of his wrath.

He has driven me away and made me walk in darkness rather than light;

indeed, he has turned his hand against me again and again, all day long.

He has made my skin and my flesh grow old and has broken my bones.

He has besieged me and surrounded me with bitterness and hardship.

He has made me dwell in darkness like those long dead.

He has walled me in so I cannot escape; he has weighed me down with chains.

Even when I call out or cry for help, he shuts out my prayer.

He has barred my way with blocks of stone; he has made my paths crooked.

Lamentations 3:1-9

*

There is no way out,

I’m not good at being patient

I’m not good at being a patient patient.

I’m not good at anything.

*

I’ll wait

– in my agony.

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Heather Kopp

about grief, grace, and recovery from addiction

Steve McCurry's Blog

Steve's body of work spans conflicts, vanishing cultures, ancient traditions and contemporary culture alike - yet always retains the human element. www.stevemccurry.com

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