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A Hard Setback

December 3, 2013

I met my doctor today:

cancer has spread to a bigger area than estimated.

I have to be operated again,

this time it will be a bigger operation.

****

I can’t believe it.

I tried to focus on the future,
the opportunities it can offer,
and the most of all – getting better.

****

I thought that this would be a positive visit to the doctor:
I could show a well healed operation wound.
It would be easier to prepare for radiation therapy.
– all turned out differently.
They have cut of everything.
****
I’m back at the beginning,
still in the deepest darkness.
As it says in the book of Job:
*

And he has shrivelled me up,
which is a witness against me,
and my leanness has risen up against me;
it testifies to my face.

He has torn me in his wrath and hated me;
he has gnashed his teeth at me;
my adversary sharpens his eyes against me.
Men have gaped at me with their mouth;
they have struck me insolently on the cheek;
they mass themselves together against me.

God gives me up to the ungodly
and casts me into the hands of the wicked.
I was at ease, and he broke me apart;
he seized me by the neck and dashed me to pieces;
he set me up as his target;
his archers surround me.
He slashes open my kidneys and does not spare;
he pours out my gall on the ground.

He breaks me with breach upon breach;
he runs upon me like a warrior.
I have sewed sackcloth upon my skin
and have laid my strength in the dust.

My face is red with weeping,
and on my eyelids is deep darkness,
although there is no violence in my hands,
and my prayer is pure.

job 16:8-17

madonna78

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4 Comments
  1. I am sorry, praying for you.

  2. I am sorry. I wish you all the very best in your fight against cancer. Take care.

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