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Recovering with Job

November 18, 2013

God has given me trials.

TEAR

*****
There was a dark figure,

It was given a permission to scratch and shake me,
to tear and shred me

It was allowed to throw me around.

*****

I felt its presence just behind me

and I wasn’t able to stop it

or prevent it from action.

******

This presence disappeared directly after the surgery.

*****

When I look back to these weeks before cancer operation,

I see it as a battle field.

Me against this strong, dark power – alone.

******

I can compare my experience with the Book of Job:

“I cry out to you, God, but you do not answer;
I stand up, but you merely look at me.
You turn on me ruthlessly;
with the might of your hand you attack me.
You snatch me up and drive me before the wind;
you toss me about in the storm.
I know you will bring me down to death,
to the place appointed for all the living.

(Job 30:20-23)

******

My physical panic was out of my logical control.

It was surrounding me,

eating me inside out

– not obeying any orders

or accepting any explanations.

******

Still, I knew, I was not left alone.

My connection was not broken – and I didn’t want to break it either.

******

As in lyrics “Raise Your Voices”

Though the night be dark and fearful
Though we face the dimming day
Though the heart be sad and tearful
Trust in Him, He will light the way
Raise your Voices!
Raise your voices!
praise to Him- the living word
To the heaven high ascending
Raise your voices to the Lord

*******

I certainly haven’t been singing through my battlefield ,

but I’m still here.

Today my heart is singing,

and I’m happy to listen the chorus of angels:

Mountains tall and seas will thunder
One unceasing chorus sing
Heav’n and earth will sleep no longer
Than the universe as one will sing.

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Heather Kopp

about grief, grace, and recovery from addiction

Steve McCurry's Blog

Steve's body of work spans conflicts, vanishing cultures, ancient traditions and contemporary culture alike - yet always retains the human element. www.stevemccurry.com

70 Degrees West

an environmental and humanitarian photo-documentary project from pole to pole along 70º west longitude

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